Characters

I took a little vacation and visited my father in San Francisco last week. It was good to get away for a little while and relax in my favorite city with some of my favorite people. I escaped the doldrums of unemployment and "Seattle" life (Although it appears the former is coming to an end quite soon!). Instead of engaging in my usual pastime (Constant worrying) I got to enjoy the good life by the Bay.

By "good life" I mean "an angry black man insulting you and challenging you and your father to a fight while lamenting how shitty the country has become since WWII."

The incident started off innocently enough. My father and I were on our way to our second Giants game of the week. We hopped on a bus headed downtown and took seats in the back, which was deserted except for one old man in the very back corner. As soon as we sat down, this man said something unintelligible to us. Neither of us understood him, so we both just politely nodded and said "Hello," and went about our bus ride.

Out of the blue, the guy starts saying to himself, "Look at these two white motherfuckers. Just look at 'em! These two white motherfuckers..." This goes on for the rest of our 30 minute bus ride.

He occasionally has some other words for us. "Try me! Just try me! See what happens!" "You won't say nothing because you already know what you'll get. You know!" "I served this country in WWII. I protected it, I saved it; and look at it now! Look what you white motherfuckers have done to it." "I know what y'all think of me." "What has this country come to?"

I just want to take a timeout here to point out the man was roughly 65-70 years old I'd estimate. Unless he was in the service while he was still wearing diapers, he didn't fight during WWII.

Other passengers board the bus and quickly become uncomfortable with the monologue coming from the back. A couple people try sitting in the back with us, but leave shortly thereafter. Our new friend comments on this: "Scared off another one!"

My dad and I quietly sit through the entire tirade. Not once did we leave our seats, but neither did we speak to or make eye contact with our antagonist until we reached out stopped (At which point I was tempted to thank him for his service to our country, but thought better of it).

We recognized the situation immediately once he got going. Years of riding San Francisco buses have made us very familiar with the "characters" - as my dad calls them - you'll bump into. Dad calls them characters because it's nicer than calling them crazy. They might be mentally ill, or drunk, or just angry at the world and looking to start something. This particular guy I think fell somewhere between the last two options; he was periodically sipping out of bottle in his hands.

Bigoted Fake WWII Veteran is just one of many characters I've had the "pleasure" to meet. So today I'd like to share some of my most memorable encounters.

The most memorable has to be the incident between the Holy Man and the Overprotective Mother.

I was riding the 22 Fillmore a few years ago to meet my dad at his office. The 22 is a notoriously crowded bus line. It is a long route that runs from one end of San Francisco to another - north to south and back. Thus, it is a heavily used bus because of all the ground it covers.

This day was no different - people were packed in tighter than sardines. You couldn't help but become very familiar with your fellow passengers.

A mother and her teenage daughter boarded the bus and tried making their way through the crowd. Along the way the daughter apparently bumped into a middle-aged gentleman who took offense. He started yelling at the girl demanding she show a little respect for her elders and berating the mother for not controlling her daughter better. "The Bible says to respect your elders!" He went on and on about that.

The mother quickly shot back, however, with even greater venom than the Holy Man. Overprotective Mother didn't like this stranger speaking to her daughter in such a loud voice. She started going off about how it wasn't her daughter's fault, about how crowded the bus is, and about how disrespectful Holy Man was acting.

Things got very heated between the two. Finally, the Holy Man just threw his hands up in the air and said, "I'm just going to let God handle it! God will sort you out later!" He repeated that phrase a few times while Overprotective Mother continued trying to have an argument he wasn't interested in anymore.

My stop arrived and I got off the bus without ever knowing if God did descend and resolve that conflict between them. I haven't ridden the 22 Fillmore since.

Not all characters are raving madmen or madwomen, however. Many street-wise philosophers also ride public transportation.

I was riding BART from Berkeley to San Francisco a couple years ago and got to listen to a raggedy dressed man sitting behind me went on and on about how people don't really connect anymore.

"We're all like ants. We just run around and bump into each other without really knowing where we're going. We're all just ants. No purpose, no direction, no meaningful contact. Just running around like crazy and getting in each others way."

It's the only time I've actually pondered something a character had to say. He makes a pretty good point. We are like ants, you know? If you really stop to think about it. Except for, you know, ants actually having a pretty solid social structure with each ant having duties to perform for the good of the colony.

But my most haunting character experience has to be the Lonely Passenger.

I was returning home from a haircut when I noticed a mournful voice crying on the bus. It was quite loud and very sad - lots of moaning and lamentations like "Oh God!" and "Why? Why?"

The only thing was, I couldn't see who was doing the crying. The bus was very crowded and I didn't notice anyone who seemed to be the source of the crying and moaning. And everyone on board had that classic zombie bus stare going. You know, the one where you just shut off and don't make eye contact with anyone because you're packed in tightly with a bunch of strangers and just want to get through this bus ride. It is also a common reaction to meeting characters.

Because I couldn't see anyone crying and everyone had the bus stare going, the only logical conclusion I could form was I was riding a haunted bus. Some poor soul spending an eternity on a bus, I guess. Sounds worse than Hell to me.

Characters are a common occurrence on San Francisco buses. If nothing else, they serve as a stark reminder that there are plenty of people with harder lives and more problems than you.

For some reason, though, I've never encountered any in Seattle. I've become a frequent bus rider in this area since last year, but not once have I had an encounter with a character. The closest I've come is a story GF told me about a racist bus passenger yelling at a Latina couple speaking Spanish on the bus, then everyone else shouting down the racist, and the bus driver telling him "Tengas un buen dia" when he got off. But I've had no such luck. (Racism is a common trait in characters. This guy and Bigoted Fake WWII Veteran are good examples.)

I'm curious as to what is it about Seattle buses (Or at least Sound Transit buses, since that is what most of my bus rides are on) that keeps characters away. Is it the higher bus fare? Does the greater Seattle area just have less characters than the Bay Area?

It might just be that Sound Transit is pretty much for commuters traveling between cities, so it doesn't attract as many characters as an inner city San Francisco or Seattle bus. However, that doesn't explain all the characters you also see on BART.

Someone should form a study on this. I'd like to see data comparing and contrasting Seattle and San Francisco characters and their tendency to use public transportation. I'd do it, but it looks like I'm finally going to lose all my unemployment free time soon. Although I will also be riding Seattle buses more frequently...