Monday, January 20, 2014

This is a film list you can't refuse

I've mentioned before what a snob I am when it comes to entertainment. The subject of movies might be where this becomes most apparent. I like to think of myself as a bit of a film connoisseur.

I hardly go the movie theater compared to the average 24-year-old, I have a low opinion of most blockbusters, and I find modern comedies atrociously unfunny. If you consider Avatar, The Dark Knight, or Fight Club film classics, we can't be friends.

With that said, there's few things I find more enjoyable than sitting down and watching a good movie. My definition is just a tad more strict than most - especially amongst my generation, I find. A friend once told me, regarding my taste in music and movies, "Dylan - you were born 30 years too late."

It's not like I'm strictly watching The Seventh Seal, Citizen Kane, or Lawrence of Arabia all the time. I'm not limited solely to Oscar winners or movies of profound meaning and influence (although that does help). I'm just astonished by what I find when I talk to most people about movie interests.

So just as I've listed other favorites of mine, I continue that tradition today with my top ten favorite movies.

#10. The Blues Brothers (1980)

I'll admit, this one is a bit of an outlier on this list. There isn't a lot of cult classics on this list, but this Dan Aykroyd/John Belushi comedy makes the cut (barely - it was a long drawn out effort to trim this list down to just ten deserving movies).

This movie's got two things I love: comedy and old music. The Blues Brothers takes viewers on a wonderful trip through the roots of rock, soul, and R&B with a bevy of musical guest stars (such as Aretha Franklin, Ray Charles, and James Brown) while providing plenty of laughs. You'll get a whole new perspective on Princess Leia (more from her in a little bit) and Illinois Nazis.

The film's ridiculous ending remains one of my favorites, including my favorite car chase sequence ever. The sheer number of cars that get wrecked is astounding!

An earlier, less destructive car chase sequence.


#9. Gojira (1954)

Don't recognize the title? Maybe if I translated for you. In America, he's known as Godzilla. 

I cannot stress enough how much I loved Godzilla movies as a kid. While it is hard to go back and watch a lot of those movies today (Jet Jaguar, folks. Jet Jaguar), the original film still remains a poignant film about the destructive capabilities of nuclear warfare - from the only country to experience the terror of the atom bomb firsthand.

Godzilla may have evolved into a children's' hero, but he started as a monster for the times. I'm hoping the pending American remake captures some of that old essence (and is a vast improvement over the previous American version).

Please make sure you see the original Japanese version of the film. When Gojira was first presented to American audiences, it featured new scenes starring American actors badly interjected throughout. The editing looks awful and voice dubbing never helps a film. It still suffers from certain old cheesy monster movie gimmicks, but watch the original version keeping in mind how hard it was to portray a gigantic terrifying monster demolishing a city before the advent of CGI.

#8. Original Star Wars trilogy (1977-1983)

Another set of movies that had a profound affect on my childhood that stays with me today. What left is there for me to say about the original Star Wars trilogy that others already haven't? They are the movies that influenced sci-fi for years to come, spawned a legion of fans that only continues to grow with every generation, and three shitty sequels with more on the way (though as my stepfather said, "Look at it this way - it can't possibly get any worse than The Phantom Menace, can it?").

#7. Apocalypse Now (1979)

Not the easiest movie to just sit down and relax with, but that's not why you watch it to begin with. You watch it because you're looking for a movie that tells a story. In this case, a story about the darkness and brutality of man set amidst the backdrop of the Vietnam War. 

Martin Sheen and his unlucky PT boat crew undertake a dangerous and bizarre assassination mission up the Nung River, with each stopover along the way proving weirder and more dangerous than the last.

Director Francis Ford Coppola (more from him later on this list) filmed two endings to the movie and opted to go with the one with a little bit more optimism, but that doesn't stop this movie from being hard to watch. When people talk about horror films, they generally talk about the slashers like Freddy, Jason, the Saw franchise, etc. But for me, no film kept me awake at night like the psychological torment of this film. If you're ready for an intense study of human nature and the depravity of war, Apocalypse Now is a great movie.

The horror...the horror...



#6. Love and Death (1975)

Don't let the title fool you - this isn't another deep psychological/philosophical artsy movie like my previous pick. Quite the contrary. This movie prefers to ridicule such films.

It's so hard to pick one film that succinctly sums up Woody Allen's career, but this one perhaps comes close. If nothing else it's my favorite film of his; which is a hard enough choice in itself - I'm a big fan of Woody Allen, especially his earlier, funnier films (Woody Allen smarks are chuckling at that line right now). It's a film that manages to be laugh-out-loud funny while still asking some truly insightful questions about life; it just prefers to come up with cheeky answers to those questions.

Love and Death perfectly satirizes the philosophical works of authors and filmmakers like Dostoyevsky and Bergman as it follows the adventures of a cowardly Russian (Woody Allen) and his amorous cousin-twice-removed (Diane Keaton) caught up in the 19th century French invasion of Russia. The witty repertoire between the two is at an all-time high in this film; and cannot be matched by what constitutes for "humor" in 99% of modern comedies. It's those quick wits and sharp puns that I love so much about Woody Allen's comedies and make him one of my favorite writers/directors.



#5. The Marx Brothers (1929-1949)

But Woody Allen didn't learn how to write such fast-paced witty dialogue all on his own. He studied at the feet of the masters: Groucho, Chico, Harpo, and I'll go ahead and mention Zeppo too - The Marx Brothers.

Much of Allen's comedies borrow from the Marx Brother formula: one part fast-paced dialogue, one part puns, one part clever innuendo, one part satire of a topic, and one part slapstick humor.

While they bear no relation to Karl Marx, the brothers did  include a dose of sociopolitical humor into most of their films; largely wise cracks at the expense of high society types. The height of their popularity came during The Great Depression, so you can understand why such jokes got over with the general public.

It's impossible for me to pick just one film of theirs, but I love their work so much they deserved a mention somewhere. Animal Crackers, Duck Soup, A Night at the Opera, and A Day at the Races have to be my favorites worth mentioning, but there are plenty others worth seeing as well.



#4. Django Unchained (2012)

Hey, look! A movie from the 21st century!

Quentin Tarantino has so many good movies that, like my previous two picks, it can be hard to pick just one. However, for me, Django Unchained sits far above the rest. I was caught completely off guard by how much I loved this film. Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, and Inglourious Basterds are all good films, but the revenge/long-lost love story of Django caught my attention more than those other films.

It's got all the violence and intensity you'd expect from a Tarantino film, but it's the acting that makes this one so great. Jamie Foxx does some of his finest work since Ray, Leonardo DiCaprio does his best acting since...ever, in my opinion, and plays a superbly detestable villain. And for whatever reason, Tarantino and Christoph Waltz seem to have found some sort of chemistry that guarantees the latter an Oscar win every time the two work together.

Plus, I just enjoy seeing Boyd Crowder squaring off with people besides Raylan.

#3. No Country for Old Men (2007)

Alright, we're back to the deep philosophical movies now. I feel like I'm beginning to repeat myself, but yet again hard to keep more Coen Brother films from making this list, but No Country for Old Men is easily my favorite of theirs and my favorite film of the last 30 years.

No Country for Old Men examines our world and the common criticism that things were much safer in the past. You didn't have the psychopaths of today: the serial killers, the school shooters, etc. No Country for Old Men doesn't buy that bunch of baloney - "mankind has always been violent and greedy", seems to be the film's theory as it follows the story of a man (Josh Brolin) who stumbles up a briefcase full of cash and is chased by the drug cartel that wants it back, two mysterious hitmen (Javier Bardem and Woody Harrelson), and the aging sheriff trying to piece it all together (Tommy Lee Jones).

Furthermore, it's a fascinating examination of the driving forces in people. Is it fate or destiny that leads to things, or a person's choices? Is the difference between life and death as simple as heads or tails? The film doesn't have any conclusive answers in this regard, leaving it up to the viewer to decide. The film's ending will certainly leave plenty of people confused and angry, but that isn't really the point. It's a movie trying to make you think about your life, your choices, your motivations, and the things you do as a result of all those.

Javier Bardem plays arguably the greatest villain of all time (sorry, Darth Vader) in this perplexing crime story.

 "What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss?"


#2. The Godfather: Part II (1974)

See #1.

#1. The Godfather (1972)

Hey, look! We're back in the 70s again!

Without a doubt in my mind, my two favorite films of all time are the first and second Godfather films (we won't speak of the third one).

I have an affinity for gangsters because of the warped perspective of capitalism, honor, and family they represent. Gangsters, fictional and non-fictional, are telling characters of the state of the American psyche. And there are no fictional gangsters better and more representative of the average U.S. citizen than those in The Godfather movies.

Essentially, the first film is the story of one man forced to defend his family against a world they've created. Michael Corleone does not condone his father's and brothers' actions - he is an outsider in their world. A man trying to make an honest living and make a name for himself without resorting to crime (which is, of course, exactly what his father wants for the family's future generations. Michael just doesn't realize that).  But when his blood is put in mortal peril, Michael acts to save the family and protect the empire they've built - by any means necessary.

But by the end of the film, we see a transformed Michael. He has not only embraced the family tradition, but become trapped by it. He becomes fully immersed into its world of murder and corruption and takes the family business to new heights never before dreamed of in The Godfather: Part II. And so the overarching story between films becomes that of a single man's descent into moral depravity, and how he destroys the lives of his loved ones.

Amidst all that you have the backdrop of broader messages about the corruption within business and politics, the violent nature of the personal vendetta, and how holding too tightly to "family values" can in fact destroy family.

Also it doesn't hurt to have Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, Diane Keaton, Robert Duvall, Robert DeNiro, James Caan, and a host of great character actors in your film. The Godfather films boast some truly all-star casts.



Honorable mentions: Too many to list in full, but I guess I'll name the ones that came the closest to making this list. The Searchers, Annie Hall, The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

The 49ers are coming...

So it has come down to this.
And really there could be no other way. No other result; no more fitting end. 

For this is the end. Brady's team is a ghost of its former self and Peyton suffers from playoff amnesia, where he forgets how to win in the playoffs. The winner in the NFC will become Super Bowl champion. And it was never going to be New Orleans, Carolina, or those other pretenders to the throne.

It could only come down to these two teams. And they plain don't like each other. 

The defending NFC champions - a kingly team with an illustrious history - must assail the mighty castle that is CenturyLink Field and overcome the usurpers from the north - a team of cutthroats that have bullied their way to the top.

I don't think I need to tell you who I'm rooting for.

From banners to billboards, from ticket restrictions to charity donations (?), the animosity between these two teams and their respective fanbases has steadily grown and now extends beyond the football field. Even the coaches have gotten into it before back when each of them coached in college. 49ers vs. Seahawks is the best rivalry in football today.

As you know, I live in the Seattle area. I'm deep in the heart of enemy territory. And let me tell you, I hate every moment of it! 

The Seahawks have risen to a point where they threaten to eclipse even the despised Dodgers on my  list of rival teams. 

Football season is made tortuous because I have to put up with Seahawk fans day in and day out. I could bear with the Seahawks turning into the dominant team of the NFC West if I didn't have to put up with the fans. This is the fanbase, after all, that literally prides itself on not only being loud obnoxious louts, but being the loudest obnoxious louts.

Everywhere I go I see that blue hawk staring at me with is sinister green eye. And all those 12th Man flags! The number 12 is my least favorite number now (by the way, Texas A&M called - they want their schtick back).

It's getting so bad that I'm becoming like a bull who has seen red. Only in my case the colors are blue and green. Every time I see something related to the Seahawks I change into a monster - my hair stands up, my eyes turn red, my nails lengthen and sharpen, steam pours out my ears, flames shoot-out my nostrils, and I start snarling and growling. The neighbors think there's a werewolf loose in the area.

There's no escape in the realm of cyberspace either. Every week my Facebook feed blows up with Seahawks stuff. On a weekly basis I see people, friends and "friends" of mine, reveling in their team's glory. The banter, the trash talk, the endless mocking of my team! 

Half of them don't give a damn about sports ordinarily. People I know who don't know the difference between football and cricket. Richard Sherman could walk into their home wearing a sign reading "I'm Richard Sherman" on it and they wouldn't know who he is. I dislike bandwagon fans for my own teams, so you can imagine how I feel about people jumping on an archenemy's bandwagon.

I've never been much of a praying man. But I beseech thee - God, Vishnu, Allah, Zeus, Buddha, Yahweh, Shiva, Cthulhu, anybody who will listen - strike down the Seahawks this Sunday!

The Seahawks are an unjust team, unworthy of football glory. They are the dirtiest team in football - rotten to the core, scoundrels everyone of them! I mean come on - seven suspensions in two years! Seven (and we all know it should be eight)! You could field a team made-up entirely from clones of Alex Rodriguez, Barry Bonds, and Toronto mayor Rob Ford and they wouldn't receive that many drug suspensions.

Oh, and those uniforms...ugh. They're almost as ugly as the Oregon Ducks football team (almost).

And do you really want to see this guy win? 

You really want to boost this guy's ego any more?
Seattle already tried to break my grandmother's heart by attempting to plunder Sacramento of its Kings. Luckily, fortune smiles on the weak and the Kings stayed where they belong. Now she'll be hoping the 49ers can exact some revenge on the city that put all of Sacramento through an emotional roller coaster ride.

Is that what you want Seattle? To crush an old woman's hopes and dreams!? Will that satisfy your bloodlust!?!?

So please let fortune smile on my family again and on the 49ers. Let Gore and Kaepernick find the open holes. Let our passes sail over the defenders' heads whilst delivering theirs safely into the hands of our secondary. Give Crabtree, Boldin, and Davis the speed to outrun the Hawks defense. And give Smith and Smith the strength to overpower the Hawks offensive line.

But most of all I pray that I don't have to put up with more months of agony at the hands of my tormentors. Seahawk fans have been insufferable enough these past 20 weeks. A victory over the Niners or (worse yet!) a Super Bowl championship would be unbearable. 

I pray because I know the odds are firmly stacked against the Niners on Sunday. A victory in Seattle might not qualify as a miracle, but it'd be close.

The Seahawks have the greatest home-field advantage in football (maybe all of sports). The Niners know this well from their last two visits to Seattle. Despite his small size and lack of notice, Russell Wilson is an excellent QB. Despite all their cheating, the Hawks defense is the most formidable in football. And despite his USC smugness, Pete Carroll is a good coach.

So football gods, I pray to you. Have pity on a poor 49er fan so far away from home. Think of it as a birthday present to me. Otherwise things around here will get so bad I'll need to purchase some blinders and some headphones like these for myself.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Holiday wrap-up

It was a busy couple of weeks for GF and I. It was our first time spending Christmas and New Year's together, so we had to make sure we visited each and every one of our relatives. And it was GF's first time visiting parts of California that don't prominently feature princesses and a giant talking mouse.

It was hectic, it was stressful, it was frustrating...and I'd do it all over again next year.

It all started on the morning of Dec. 21st. We drove from our "Seattle" home to the Bellingham area to watch WSU's first bowl game in 10 years with some of GF's family. What started as a monumental event for Coug fans everywhere turned into bitter disappointment when the team Couged it harder than I've ever seen before.

For the uninitiated, "Couging it" refers to when the WSU football team blows an opportunity to win and embarrasses the whole school in the process. And we Couged it hard that day, blowing a 15 point lead with about four minutes left in the game. I've never seen a team fumble on three consecutive plays before (sure, one was overruled, but I still count it towards our ineptitude on that day).

The next day we split up - I returned to original "Seattle" home to see mom's side of the family while GF returned to our apartment because she had to work on the 23rd. I had time to revisit with Puma and Big G while she slaved away at work.

Christmas Eve at my mother's house was...abbreviated, for lack of a nicer term. Instead of enjoying my family's traditional Christmas Eve dinner followed by presents, GF and I found ourselves dining on fast food and back on I-5 again by 7:30pm as we drove back to the Bellingham area.

By this time exhaustion was setting in, especially for GF, and the busiest part of our schedule was still to come. Christmas Eve proved disappointing, but I was determined to make the rest of the holiday enjoyable.

Christmas Day saw us hopping from place-to-place as we celebrated at four different homes before the day was over. We went everywhere but Canada for Christmas. But it was certainly a great day for me as I got to enjoy all of GF's gigantic family; and it was a nice change of pace from my usual schedule of flying out on Christmas Day.

We finally got an "off day" on the 26th. By which I mean we drove back to our place, unpacked, then re-packed for our early morning flight to San Francisco. It was time to do Christmas one more time - California style!

Gathering at the Hoff family ancestral home in Sacramento for the weekend, my own gigantic family gathered for another dose of Christmas cheer, lots of food, fantastic family time, and more holiday loot! By this time my bags were getting heavy with Christmas presents, even though much of it had been left in Washington state. Highlights included:
  • A Klay Thompson t-shirt
  • Doctor Who Monopoly
  • The fourth season of Justified
  • More silverware than we know what to do with
  • The warmest sweater I've ever received
  • My college degree (my mother lost it in 2012 when I was in San Francisco)
  • Every currently published book in "A Song of Fire and Ice"
Of course, this time of year isn't about receiving - it's about sharing precious moments with one another. And suffice to say there was a fair amount of that too. (Although the loot doesn't hurt either).

GF, battle tested by the size of her own extended family and by vigorously studying the Hoff family tree, excelled in her first meeting with the family and was welcomed by all. If anything, she was more popular than I was. I guess I'm old hat by now.

Additionally, this holiday season marked the first time I got to celebrate GF's birthday with her. I cooked one of her favorite meals and let her choose her own birthday cake.

We rounded out our vacation by touring all across San Francisco and celebrating New Year's with some friends of mine. Unfortunately those last few days were marred by the two of us, plus my dad, catching a cold, so things were not quite as thrilling as they could have been. But GF was still impressed enough to declare San Francisco better than Seattle, which is all I needed to hear.

We returned home this past Saturday. GF calculated we had celebrated six Christmases, one New Year, and one birthday together while visiting eight different towns during the course of this single vacation (with another birthday just around the corner. In case any of my readers were regretting not getting me a Christmas present, here's a second chance...).

Barring the amount of travel involved and illnesses, it was a spectacular couple of weeks. We'll have to talk about how we want to handle future Decembers, but all in all I had myself a wonderful holiday season. Here's to hoping all of you did too!

Happy post-Holidays!