The cold city

"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." - Mark Twain

"The weather here ... it's very reminiscent of England. Actually, it might be worse. At least we see sun in the summer." - British woman I overheard on MUNI

There is no place on Earth colder than San Francisco.

That chill you get when a brisk wind from the bay sweeps across your body - nothing compares to that. That's a chill that goes straight to the bone. It penetrates deep inside you; within your very soul.

Alaska - whatever.

Scandinavia - got nothing on The City!

Siberia - a vacation spot.

Antarctica - positively balmy by comparison.

San Francisco has a perpetual gloom over it that sometimes actually worsens during the supposed summer months. A dampness that no other area gets. That's saying something coming from a guy familiar with Seattle!

Every single day in San Francisco starts and ends exactly the same way. There's heavy fog in the morning, with strong winds bringing in new fresh fog in the evening. The details of the day in between can vary day-to-day and season-to-season, but that's the starting and ending point for every day. Fog, fog, and wind.

That's no joke. You can set your watch by the fog level in San Francisco.

And that's the thing - it's just San Francisco. Once you're outside of city limits, you're free! Cross any one of the bridges or start driving southbound and you'll find yourself out of the Twilight Zone and in California. There's bright skies, warm weather, children laughing and playing, birds singing. The bay is still right there, but the other surrounding towns are unaffected. You can look back from where you came from and just see dark gray clouds obscuring the city.

I can't explain why San Francisco is perpetually cold, damp, and windy. All I can do is explain why it feels so much worse than anything else.

Now my experiences with cold weather are certainly limited. On my dad's side, my roots are from North Dakota. I've never been there, but I don't think I'd enjoy a North Dakota winter. I've pretty much been locked onto the West Coast my whole life.

Still, I do have lots of experience with Washington; both the Seattle area and Eastern Washington. Next month will mark 11 years spent living in "Seattle" or Pullman, Washington. I've had my fair share of rain and snow living in this state. Seattle's reputation is certainly well deserved. And I'll never forget that winter of 2008/2009. Walked outside to go to class and it was -8 F. So cold I could barely breathe; it physically hurt to suck in air that cold.

However, there's a difference. You are told about Seattle's tendency toward rain, and that in the winter time Eastern Washington gets even worse. No one tells you about San Francisco's problems.

The problem is not so much a physical one as a mental one. Your brain is telling you that you are in California, but your body is feeling that wind chill and saying, "Are you bloody paying attention to what the eyes are you showing you?!?! Look at those clouds! Do you feel that chill?"

You are mentally prepared for California and instead you get foggy London town. You go to Chicago expecting the Windy City, you go to Antarctica expecting nothing but ice, you go to Nebraska...oh, who am I kidding? Nobody ever goes to Nebraska.

Which is why the summer's are even worse! You are even more mentally prepared for warmth and sunshine, and instead it's maybe (if you're really lucky) 60 F with some sun between 11:00am-4:00pm (I wasn't kidding about that watch thing). And then it's back to winter. And then the next day is 50 F with no sun. In the middle of summer!

A couple of summers ago, some friends of mine drove up to The City from Fresno. They were college friends of mine now living in Southern California, and hadn't had much experience in Northern California yet. It was sort of an impromptu visit, and they arrived at my doorstep wearing shorts and T-shirts right around the time, as I mentioned, that the wind picks up and the fog rolls back in. They had to borrow clothes to avoid freezing. Thankfully the next day was a rare reprieve from the norm and was 75 F and sunny, so I could actually take them out on the town.

That's the thing about Washington - it gets summer. Washington, even Seattle, is seasonal. Since July 1, Seattle has been more like San Diego. It might be only two seasons instead of four, but it's seasonal.

San Francisco has just one season. With one strange exception. September and October, of all months, do sometimes lead to decent weather in San Francisco. Right when the rest of the country starts changing into fall, trees die and change colors, animals prepare to hibernate for winter - San Francisco finally blossoms for all of 1 1/2 - 2 months.

So if you're ever planning a trip to the City by the Bay, go in September or October. That's your best bet. Because otherwise you'll be walking into a city locked into a state of almost perpetual winter.

And I still love it!