Dylan's deep thoughts

• If a tree falls in a forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
• Is a bird in the hand really worth two in the bush? Your hand is going to be covered in bird poop and feathers as a result. Let them stay in the bush.
• Narwhals are aquatic unicorns.
• When you kill an undead creature, is it now re-dead?
• Are there womanatees? If not, how do manatees manage to reproduce?
• A woodchuck could totally chuck 24 pieces of wood per hour (assuming a woodchuck could chuck wood).
• Pro wrestling is a soap opera, but with men in tights fighting each other.
• Shakira's hips don't lie because they are incapable of human speech or thought. They're hips; that's not the correct part of the human anatomy for telling lies.
• "American Idol" should be renamed "American Person No One Will Care About in a Year."
• How do British people tell if it's summer or winter? For that matter, how do San Franciscans?
• I don't think Luca Brasi is actually sleeping with the fishes. I think he's dead.
• If Pitbull had his own bobblehead, would just his left hand bobble? (That's what you call an inside joke)
• I'd take vampires over zombies anytime. Vampires are way more vulnerable (garlic, daylight, holy water, sharp wooden objects, and in some lore decapitation and silver work, too) and I'd much rather face something I could potentially reason and bargain with.
• The platypus proves that either God or Nature has a sense of humor.
• If a tree falls in a forest, and hits a mime, does the mime make a sound?