Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Minor offenses

Last week I wrote about how I appreciate the little things in life, but consequentially I also am easily irked by seemingly innocuous offenses. I compiled a list of examples of small offenses I tend to blow out of proportion.

  • Having to grocery shop twice in one day.
  • Drivers who wave to you after nearly running you over ("Oh hi! Didn't see you there! Let me wave to you so you feel better about the fact I nearly ended your life.")
  • The winners/losers of the Academy Awards.
  • People who believe in Bigfoot.
  • Coyotes howling outside my window right before I go to bed.
  • Any other noises that disturb my slumber.
  • Feeding the goats (why can't I let the coyotes get them?)
  • People who walk slowly (I'm a fast walker who takes big steps. Get out of my way when I'm walking down the street or in a hallway).
  • People who can't pronounce "Dylan."
  • People who yell loudly on their cell phones in public (I don't want to hear about your latest domestic drama while I'm waiting for the bus).
  • People who line up early at the ferry.
  • People who disrespect The Godfather, The Giants, or The Boss.
  • People who argue over the use of the Oxford comma (it honestly doesn't matter, it's a stupid argument to have and one I flip-flop over regarding usage).
  • People in general.
  • Being asked to clean-up someone else's mess. Especially from the person who made the mess.
  • Opposing sports fans at my arena/park/stadium who aren't respectful (there are rules to being a visiting team's fan. Someday I'll probably compile those into a list, too).
  • Seahawk fans on Facebook.
  • Blake Griffin. Period.
  • Being the last one to know something (to be honest, this happens so often it doesn't actually bother me anymore).
  • Not being able to tell if the person talking to him/herself in public is insane or just using one of those mobile device ear pieces.

1 comment:

  1. You'll have to ask my mom and I for input on the opposing fan rules, we've been "working"(as in jokingly discussing) on a book called "Dummy's Guide to Not being Annoying" that includes a chapter on appropriate visiting team fan behavior. We are very picky about it :)

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