Battle of the sexes: Wedding planning edition

Yeah, you read that title right! I'm engaged! GF is now just F - for Fiancée. Lots has happened since I last posted a blog post, but I figured my pending nuptials is no better place to start again; and no better option for reviving my (not really) famed "Battle of the Sexes" series. Here we go!

When I started planning for the wedding: January 2015
When she started planning for the wedding: 1998

Wedding I preferred: a large formal affair, held in a mixed indoor/outdoor venue, with a bar, full course meal, ballroom/dance floor, game/entertainment room, and we are surrounded by all our friends and family
Wedding she preferred: eloping

My guest list plans: "Let's invite everyone we've ever known!"
Her guest list plans: "We have 10,000 relatives combined - we can't accommodate anyone else!"

What I wanted the wedding colors to be: orange and black (It'll be the playoffs and almost Halloween! Come on!)
What she chose the wedding colors to be: red and gold (Almost as good!)

What could have been.

What might be.

Her regarding the wedding party procession: "There's so many different customs! Do all the bridesmaids and groomsmen walk side-by-side? Do they enter individually? Where does the groom come from? Ring bearer or no ring bearer?"
Me regarding the wedding party procession: "I want to appear in a sudden puff of smoke and yell 'Huzzah!'"

What she wants to walk out to: traditional wedding march
What I want to walk out to: Imperial march

Length of time I estimate the wedding ceremony should take: 30 minutes
Length of time she estimates the wedding ceremony should take: "10 minutes tops - let's party! Woo!" *chugs a beer*

My thoughts on bouquet/garter toss: They're classic wedding traditions, and we must do at least one of them
Her thoughts on bouquet/garter toss: Never liked 'em; we're not doing either

What I'm in charge of: tuxedo, groomsmen, wedding playlist, licking (but not addressing) invitation envelopes
What she's in charge of: EVERYTHING ELSE!!! (Except for decorations - neither of us gives a shit about décor)

Me selecting wedding linen: something soft and lacy with intricate patterns
Her selecting wedding linen: whatever's easiest to clean

Her on table centerpieces: "Candles surrounded by flowers. Ooh! Floating candles in mason jars surrounded by flowers! Wait a minute! Should we replace the candles with fish that guests can take home?"
Me on table centerpieces: "We need centerpieces?"

What she wants the wedding playlist to be: a mix of country, 80's pop, and Ingrid Michaelson
What I want the wedding playlist to be: Bruce Springsteen and 50's/60's R&B, soul, and rock

Her "first dance" preference: Ingrid Michaelson's Can't Help Falling in Love
My "first dance" preference: The Rains of Castamere

Dinner I planned: tender steak, chicken, and fish entrees with a variety of sides served on elegant porcelain dinnerware
Dinner she planned: taco bar or pizza served on paper plates

Type of wedding cake she wants: chocolate
Type of wedding cake I want:

Or

Her ideal honeymoon: A secluded island getaway - tropical, local, or Canadian.
My ideal honeymoon: "Let's go to the Vancouver aquarium!"

Social expectations on her: Plan everything down to the minute details, pick out the perfect dress, heed everyone's advice on what to do/what to buy, look fantastic by today's modern fashion sensibilities, cater to guests' every whim, engage guests in a lively manner despite all the stress gone into planning this occasion
Social expectations on me: Show up; look nice. Preferably arrive wearing a tux and not hungover (optional)

Socio-political bonus portion:

Does she feel marriage is meaningless now that "sinful, hedonistic" gays/lesbians can marry?: No
Do I feel marriage is meaningless now that "sinful, hedonistic" gays/lesbians can marry?: No

Because love takes many forms, and it always wins in the end. It might take awhile, but love wins out.

Even when wedding planning puts it to the test.

Battle of the sexes: Round 3

GF likes these type of blog posts more than anyone. She basically told me to do another "battle of the sexes." If you missed out on either of the first two, you can read them here and here.

When she's used to eating dinner: 6:00pm
When I'm used to eating dinner: 7:30pm

Her bedtime: After 9:00pm - she absolutely refuses to go to sleep before nine
My bedtime: Anytime I want - I'm probably sleeping as you read this

The movie I most regret not seeing in theaters last year: American Hustle
The movie she most regrets not seeing in theaters last year: Frozen

My response when the kitchen light burned out: "I'll take care of it! Just find me a stool or give me a boost."
Her response when the kitchen light burned out: "Call the maintenance guy."

How she shops for groceries: Compare prices, find the best deal, examine labels for ingredients/additives
How I shop for groceries: Buy the stuff that tasted good before; if no precedent exists, grab the first thing you see

How long it takes her to shop: 2 hours (because of all the examining and comparing)
How long it takes me to shop: 1 1/2 hours (I never remember where to find stuff, so I'm not much quicker)

Her pet of choice: Medium-sized dog, like a lab

My pet of choice: Kitty!

What I want from a movie/book: Good storytelling with fascinating characters
What she wants from a movie/book: A happy ending (she refuses to read The Hunger Games or The Fault in Our Stars)

My ideal places to live: Northern California, Portland, Austin, Australia
Her ideal places to live: Alaska, Canada, Norway, Sweden (this from the woman who always complains how cold she is)

What she forgets when we visit each others parents: Water bottle, chapstick, and glasses
What I forget when we visit each others parents: Clothing

Her least favorite people: People who are anti-vaccine/believe vaccines cause autism ("I hope Jenny McCarthy gets herpes! No, that's mean. What's something that is nasty, but goes away easily? Food poisoning! I hope she gets food poisoning!")
My least favorite people: Bicyclists (two incidents last week really reaffirmed my hatred for them)

The only activity I curse frequently during: Sports
The only activity she curses the (most) frequently during: Driving

My average rate of curse words while watching sports: 20 per hour
Her average rate of curse words while driving: 125 per hour

Battle of the sexes: Holiday edition

Click here to see how this all began.

My favorite Thanksgiving side dish: Mashed potatoes
Her favorite Thanksgiving side dish: Sweet potatoes

I sleep better with the window closed
She sleeps better with the window open (except when it is below freezing outside)

When I cook dinner: Carefully monitoring each pot and/or pan as the food cooks
When she cooks dinner: Just throw everything into a crockpot, wait 6-8 hours, then eat

Her in the morning: Nothing happens until she's had coffee and done her yoga
Me in the morning:

I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!

Her opinion of soup: Soup is delicious and is an important part of a balanced diet
My opinion of soup: I don't like food that can't decide if it's solid or liquid

My opinion of Loki: He is the god of mischief and deception - he cannot be trusted. His release will bring about Ragnarok
Her opinion of Loki: He is super duper cool and much smarter and funnier than Thor! (She's been watching too many movies. I fear she's going to leave me for Tom Hiddleston)

Why she's anticipating The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug: Eager anticipation over seeing Legolas' lady love and nervous anticipation over the giant spiders
Why I'm anticipating The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug: More of the 7th Doctor as Radagast the Brown and rumors that the upcoming Godzilla teaser will be attached to this film
(And because we're both giant nerds, obviously)

My Christmas shopping: 67% complete
Her Christmas shopping: 15% complete

Her favorite Christmas specials/movies: Santa Claus is Coming to Town, It's a Wonderful Life, and The Polar Express
My favorite Christmas specials/movies: A Charlie Brown Christmas (the rehearsal scene between Lucy and Snoopy gets me laughing so hard I cry every time!), Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, and Die Hard

When I usually watch It's a Wonderful Life: Christmas Eve
When she usually watches It's a Wonderful Life: Last night

Her favorite Christmas song: "The Christmas Song" (nice job on the name, guys. How long did you work on that one?)
My favorite Christmas song: Toss-up between "Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!" and Bruce Springsteen's version of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town"

My opinion on the "War on Christmas": I love Christmas, but it dominates this country in every manner possible; overshadowing every other activity, event, or religious holiday during this time of year. There is no threat to Christmas.
Her opinion on the "War on Christmas": Huh?

My opinion of New Year's: Arguably the most important and most celebrated holiday on the planet
Her opinion of New Year's: Meh. No big deal

What she's drinking at holiday parties: Wine and beer - like the adults
What I'm drinking at holiday parties: Sparkling cider - like the kids (It's champagne with no hangover!)

Her least favorite month: January ("Nothing happens in January!")
The month of my birthday: January

Battle of the sexes: Round 4

My "Battle of the sexes" blogs, hilariously highlighting areas where GF and I struggle to find middle ground, are among GF's favorites. Because in her mind everything she does differently than me makes more sense, which is of course utterly ridiculous! I'm clearly the rational one! I recommend anyone who hasn't read the others to go back and look; then judge for yourself.

Now on with the latest edition...

I grew up around video games
She did not and doesn't see the appeal

I never learned how to ride a bike
She just got a new one

My favorite TV shows right now: Justified, Hannibal and Game of Thrones
Her favorite TV shows right now: Hannibal, Game of Thrones and New Girl (One of these things isn't like the other)

What she listens to in the car: Country music stations or CD mixtapes
What I listen to in the car: Classic rock station or my Zune (Yes, I'm one of five people in the world who use a Zune)

Her favorite singer: Ingrid Michaelson
My favorite singer: Do you seriously not know by now?

Patience is my middle name
She dislikes my middle name

Places she wishes to travel to: Scotland, Sweden, India, Central or South America, Denmark, Africa
Places I wish to travel to: Back to San Francisco. Maybe other parts of California (I just don't have that urge like she does)

I never want to know spoilers. Maybe vague hints, but no details. I'm willing to give vague hints if asked, but dislike giving away major plot points
She always wants spoilers and demands to know what's going to happen ahead of time. I have to stop her from giving me spoilers if she knows more than I - she freely tells all

What she wants for dinner: A homemade meal cooked to perfection
What I want for dinner: Food

When she cooks: The kitchen remains tidy and clean
When I cook: Pots, pans, utensils, and sometimes ingredients scattered everywhere

When she washes the dishes: Dish rack is neatly organized
When I wash the dishes: Dishes are haphazardly assembled in dish rack; water surrounds the sink area (It's called Lake Dylan. I don't know how I do it every time)

I deal with any spiders in our apartment
She deals with any bees/wasps anywhere near me

My unhealthy obsessions: Bruce Springsteen (Answer your question from earlier?), Godzilla, MST3K, gangsters
Her unhealthy obsession: Serial killers (Should I be worried about this?)

My opinion on fictional serial killer Dr. Hannibal Lecter: He's a monster! Intelligent and charming, but a monster
Her opinion on fictional serial killer Dr. Hannibal Lecter: He's so cool! And he only eats people who are evil or just rude

Battle of the sexes

Living full-time with GF now has definitely illuminated the differences between us. I love her dearly, but we are definitely different people.

As she reminds me quite often, "You are such a guy!" Usually after I've watched a game or start going on and on about a team, statistics, or sports history.

We disagree on food, too. Like whether we need just a smattering of ketchup on our fries (me) or COVER IT ALL IN KETCHUP! KETCHUP EVERYWHERE!!! (GF).

I thought I'd share some of the contrasts of preferences/opinions/etc. with all you folks. I'll let you decide who is right and who is crazy.

My favorite movie: The Godfather
Her favorite movies: Love Actually and Tangled

My favorite book: American Gods
Her favorite books: Pride & Prejudice and The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins

Her music is a little bit country.
My music is a little bit rock n' roll.

My favorite Star Wars movie: The Empire Strikes Back
Her least favorite Star Wars movie: The Empire Strikes Back ("Bad guys aren't supposed to win.")

She prefers to drive cars with a manual transmission.
Without an automatic transmission, I wouldn't be able to drive.

I always complain about feeling too warm.
She always complains about being too cold.

Her dresser size: 5 drawers, 52 x 33 inches.
My dresser size: 3 drawers, 30 x 27.5 inches.

Percentage of bathroom sink/cabinet area reserved for her stuff: 70%
Percentage of bathroom sink/cabinet area reserved for my stuff: 10% (I don't even use up all of it)

What I envision when I think of a pet chameleon:

What she envisions when she thinks of a pet chameleon:

For me: "Vacuuming is no big deal. It's like the easiest part of housecleaning."
For her: "I'll do everything else except vacuum! Please do the vacuuming!"

For me (as a kid): "Disneyland was alright."
For her (as an adult): "It's the most wondrous, magical place on Earth!!"

For her: "Wrestling, football, and boxing are barbaric."
For me: "Kill 'em! Rip 'em apart! Whoooooh!!!"

Percentage of total shelf space taken up by her books, DVDs, and music: 15%
Percentage of total shelf space taken up by my books, DVDs, and music: 85% (although it would need to be 150% if I brought everything)

I'll start listening to Christmas music after Thanksgiving.
She has already started listening to Christmas music.

Her ideal meal: Salad, followed by a kale salad (smothered in ketchup. She really loves ketchup). With dark chocolate for dessert.
My ideal meal: Meat! With a side of meat! And for dessert - meat! (And maybe some mashed potatoes.)

The thing that sends her into an instant panic:

Awww...look at the cute little guy.

The thing that sends me into an instant panic:

KILL IT! KILL IT NOW! DESTROY IT WITH FIRE!!!!

The reasons I dislike Twilight: The stalker-ish and abusive relationship between Bella and Edward. The implications that a woman isn't complete and has no purpose without a man in her life.
The reason she dislikes Twilight: "The vampires sparkle. Vampires aren't supposed to sparkle."

Bet you didn't see that last one working out that way, did you?